fashizzlemanizzle

My Chemical Romance with King Bhumibol And His Denizens.... Part Telu

And so, woke up to the bright sunshine and of birds chirping and morning cartoons, all in Thai (even of the chirping birds i tell ya). Woke up to the sound of a freaking motorbike revving up like it's using exhaust buluh. And the bed-buddy was watching some friggin motor race on tv. There really wasnt much to watch really (unless u're a BBC freak or understand NBA basketball matches in mandarin, WAH! HAO KAN!XIE MO TONG XIE!)

And so a new day begins in this part of the world. No breakfast in bed. And thankfully no doggie running up my bed licking my earlobes. Oh yeah, forgot to mention. You know how big the blanket was? You know those ol skool blankets checkered one, kaler2 ones. Well from the looks of it, it seems like they took one sheet of it, and cut it into 2, putting each piece on each bed. Juz when you tot the inn couldnt get more cheapo. Imagine trying to wrap urself, but always a leg is exposed or sumtin. I tink it'd be more appropriately used as a towel. A very itchy towel ( as in it makes u itch lah). After much dilly-dallying and seeing a video MTV of a girl that left her bra in her boyfren's car (geez they can sing juz abt anytin dont they), we got a call from our tour guidance to meet soon and go for brunch.

Brunch was a high-class affair. After much walking (we ensure that we work hard for our food, by walking, for it is thy divine reward), we settled on Black Canyon Coffee. Feelin rich we all. Ive forgotten what i had. Tink i had like rice with some fish dish, tat resembled a lot like sambal kangkong. On the menu was this weird combi of sticky rice and mango pudding. And oh yeah, basel seems to be their national spice. The basel leaves are added to practically on evry food. Even french fries.

After much eating, and doin some warm-up exercises and leg raise, preparing for wat lies ahead, we set off for ze super huge weekend market, Cha to the Chu to the Chak Pong (It's juz Chatuchak fellow readers). Took ze bullet train there and yun was pretty amazed when i described to him it was at least 6 football fields (each field measuring prob 1123 yards by 345 yards...of course this is juz a rough estimation, meaning its all crap). There were already hordes of people making their way there. Seems like evryone is tinking alike, that is to give the market a visit on saturday.

I cant possibly describe the places we went to. We juz went wif da flow fashizzo manizzoo. Yo get wat I mean. Holler yo. But our fellow crew desperately wanted to go to the animals section and look at the rabid monkey (the one that Ross Gellar has, anyone knows wats the name of his monkey? Been killing me tinkin abt it). Tink its best you look at the pics below.

Bought a total of 4 tees and a skirt (i am a closet cross-dresser). We ended the shopping spree kinda early, after like 4 hrs of walking around n round n round. Each and evry turn led us to someplace new. Amazing that place. Its as if Willy Wonka built that place as a playground for us all. A-MAZE-ing (pardon the pun, cant help it really). The early retirement was due to us having to check out our next location to stay. We were moving out of the F-Nine hotel fo' good fo' shure. Nah. Actually it was all part of the masterplan of the tour guide. She wanted a feel of the backpacker's experience. So we defnitely had to stay at Khao San, backpacker's paradise. Where the streets are lined with people making braids (read Mili Vanilli, girl you know its truee...true true true, I lip-synch) and dreadlocks (feelin rasta like the reggae man himself, bob the builder marley). Where the streets are filled with ang mohs here there evrywhere. Feels like im in America again.

We managed to find the Inn we were planning to stay in. YES, another INN. But at least this Inn, from the looks of it, has a swimming pool, balconies. Looks promising ah. Ade banglas offering tailor-services, that shud be a good sign, yea? After which, we had our dinner at this nearby so-called mcm cafe/kopitiam thingy. Got a bloody dog (no, it wasnt bleeding) moving ard here and there. This was definitely the worst food i ate my entire time there. I ordered fried rice with bamboo shrimp coz evrytin else seems to have pork in it. And when i had my food served, the first whiff i had of it was of...GASP...bau Golden Mile. YIKES! I tried to swallow and eat as much as I can (the only alternative was to eat some pork dish), and try to act cool and not show any discomfort at all. My fellow trekkers then realised i didnt finish my food, and i got down on my knees and wept and said ,"My fried rice smells of Golden Mile". It was wise of me to stop. After that juz rata ikan bakar and watch the arsenal - blackburn match.

Soon, we left the place. But before leaving, the ever-so lembut waiter remarked that one of our fellow trekker was familar. And so his gf suspects if he's been on secret rendezvous to bkk without her knowledge, meeting up wif that waiter.

Back to the hotel and word was going round that the nite was still young and we were going to a drum & bass event to meet up with some of their frens. Seeing that my fellow roomie was ON abt it, i guess i had no choice and didnt want to be the party pooper, might as well experience the nite life, BangCock-style.

After detoxicating (read defacating aka SHIT), we got ready and waited for our humble tour guide. Cukup time dua2 ekor dah pakai kasut sumer, tertido pat katil, awakened only by the knocking on the door. And so we made our way to this CLub Astra, which i had no friggin idea as to where its at. But first it was a talk-cock sing-song session at the 'coffeshop' below our hotel first. Mid-way, fellow roomie plak had to detox and so up he ran. Here was where i heard the 'fuck-you' lizard. Listen closely and according to the other trekker, its the sound of the 'fuck-you' lizard. And seriously, the lizard doesnt make normak chik-chik-chik s'pore noises. The lizards there scold you 'fuck-you'. Im not kidding you here man. If you tink tats weird, wat happens next is even friggin weirder. We were seated such that i was facing my tour guide. My view faced the road behind her. Skali, dua kali, tiga kali, out of nowhere i saw an elephant slowly making its way on the road. In disbelief, I said there's an elephant behind you. She tot i was crazy and nobody paid attention to me. Until the elephant came by to her side, then she realised i wasnt crazy or hallucinatin or anytin. There was a guy riding on top of it, and another guy insisting on us buying some veggies to feed the elephant. Such pity. We didnt accept the offer coz i seriously didnt know wat to do or wat he was sayin. But i can see the tear on the elephant's eye. Tsk tsk. Animal cruelty. When yun came back after unloading some shit, he had missed all the action. If not the killersherpa duo would have taken the evil-master down and summon Captain Planet.

So we made our way to this club astra. The taxi driver had no idea as to where we were headin to. Only after our fellow backpacker called his fren and asked him to speak to the driver in his native language, he automatically revved his car ala the Mr Brosnan ad. Vroom vroomm. We reached our destination, and the club was actually this unfinished (or finished?) abandoned like building. No tiling no nothing. And the hottest thing on the dancefloor strutting his stuff was this super-long centipede, making its way ard and the centre of attraction. Gee wheeze. And after that came my stoopid moment. My fellow cronies were all sitting down on chairs, i was standing, and so i saw this empty stool at the bar counter, made my way to it, carry it and upon turning ard, there was this super tall ang-moh holding his beer and lookin down at me and saying "Hey hey!" From his size, i refrained any thoughts of taking him down, smiling sheepishly and putting the seat back down. He then told me to take it, but of course i had my own pride, dignity and if im smaller in size, i'll make sure at least my ego is bigger than his by turning down his offer. You nvr know if i'd have his shaft up my back in return for the favor.

And so i was the official cameraman for the nite while my fellow cronies boogie woogied the nite away. Seeing this bunch of Americanos budak taik joget sembarang, feel like telling them to go home and study lah. And this Thai dude, im quite sure was high on at least some form of 'medication' turning his head left right non-stop, mcm tasbih gitu (which i seriously doubt he was doin it). Non-stop gyrating and prancing ard i tell ya that guy.

Oh well, check out the pics. Im a certified non-junglist. Made our way back to hotel after the 2am Bkk time, thats the official closing hours of the clubs. Had cup-noodle, and zonked to zzzzzzzzzzzzz land....

Next up, do anticipate eagerly for it as to how u're eagerly awaiting for Star Wars : Episode III in........
My Romance With King Bhumibol and His Denizens... Part Papat



The writer displaying the ever-so-comfy blanket. Old skool checkered rocks!



At the Cha to the Chu to the Chak market. The writer is NOT the fat guy on the left most with the cheesy sinister grin.....



The writer pre- Golden Mile scented Fried Rice, with our tour-guid, Ms Qza...



The sherpa with fellow trekker, Mr Azman Abdullah on the left....



Khao San ala Tokyo. Pic taken by yours truly. Doesnt tis pic remind u of tokyo or sometin. No? Fine. Yun admiring the seagulls in the air...



What is not seen in the picture is the dog kicked by Yun into the abyss. Or merely juz skanking even tho still miles away from the club. Cant contain the excitement. Malam pesta muda-mudi....