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My Romance With King Bhumibol and his Denizens.... Part Deux

And so here is where i continue with my misadventures in bangcock. Yea we hopped onto a cab (not exactly a bunny-hop or a jump or anytin, but, you know, juz got into a cab lah). Yes it was Song Kran. One of the fellow backpacker so wanted to have a feel of the 'wet' experience since he was 5 years old. Hajat nye tercapai juga akhir nye. Amin. The roads were all wet, not from rain mind you. Cars were smeared with whitish things (I hope it's juz powder or sumtin, and not what i tink it is.... tartar sos). I saw pick-ups loaded with like 10-12 people at the back (not sure if they were part of the Moscow Circus roadshow or anytin), all wet and prob lookin for victims to attack with their spray guns, or baldis and cedoks of waters.

So yun's first impressions of BKK was yea, kinda like Kay El. But boy do i wish Kay El had such water festivals. See those awek aweks with serkup and wet.... priceless. And so we headed to our resting place called the A-One Inn. I shall refrain from calling it a hotel. From the pics on the website, it sure does look like a nice cozy hotel. I should have known better. The keyword here was INN. Till now im not exactly sure how i got the zany idea that it was a hotel. We came to this lorong, and i saw no swank or at least sumtin resembling Hotel Fragrance. There were these normal squeezy buildings. And yes, one of which was the el-cheapo A-One Inn. From outside, it looked like a bookstore, what with all the books stacked at one corner of the room, and a few computer terminals, prob resembling the OPAC (you remember the computer terminals at NLB last, that Octupus thingy with green wordings, that was oh-so-technologically advanced).

Firstly i was greeted by this shaggy dog who was sitted smack in the middle of the entrance. Somehow the sight of the dog was the first sign that i dont think it was the right hotel for me, what with the bad positioning of the door affecting its feng shui-ness. And so the dog then tried to get close to me. Yours truly was acting cool all the way abt the dog, till it got real close and i did an elak stunt that Pendekar Mustar would have been proud of. We got the keys, me n yun both getting confusing with the thousands of bahts in our hands (the thought of having thousands worth of money was getting a lil too much for someone hell-bent with plans of World Dominance) with the bill. It was 500baht per nite, which worked out to abt 250baht each (abt less than S$12). Remember the thumb-of-rule 100baht ~ S$4.

For the cheap price, i dont give a cat's ass abt tat dog. Tho i kept wondering if the dog would like come up to ur room in the mornings to give that morning wake up call on ur face. Yucks. And the cheap price meant there was no elevator or anytin, and so we started our climb to the top floor, the 3rd storey via stairs. By the time we reached our room at the far corner of the floor, i was gasping for air like a bird that just got castrated (is there even such en expression??). Oh yea. What a kool room it was. Really no frills. Take abt 2big steps and u are at the bed. Turn left is the dressing table, tv. The 2 beds are close together. The curtain is definitely tak cukup kain, so had to strategically cover the window in order to preserve our modesty and from prying eyes. The view is power. Nothing basically. I can see the backyard of a building where they do the laundry, and also can see the famed Ma Bung Krong Shopping Complex (MBK). Toilet, in Yun's words, you can sit at the toilet bowl and bath at the same time. Every slacker's wet dream. That was how small it was.

And so refraining myself from succumbing to Satan's call to sleep, we rested juz for a lil while n got ready to start the first round of shopping. Knowing what lies ahead, I changed from my new FV tee into more of a baju basahan. And it was a smart move. We saw the countless soldiers awaiting to ambush us with their water guns. The first tactic i tried went out the window. Not making eye-contact with them and buat muka slumber + garang. Even so they still threw water at ma back. They have the cheek to do tat. Tsk. Second tactic. Let Yun walk ahead first. That ensured he got the first shower of water, and i ran straight ahead, but to no avail. And so, might as well join in the fun lah. Let them throw water at me as long as they happy. Pity our tour guide. She had to endure not only water, but people trying to smear what look like whitish things (I hope its juz wet powder and not wat i tink it is.... ringworm / athlete's foot cream).

So the first day started off slowly. Juz got meself a Bruce Lee tee at MBK. Always wanted one. And after that, it was our long trekking in the jungles to hunt for food at this place called Peter pans or sumtin like that ah. Now that took us like wat, 2hrs to find? By the time we reached, wat was supposed to have been lunch truned to dinunch. It was close to 7+ (BKK time) when we reached. Being the was-was dude tat i was, I chose a safe bet of Fish & Chips. And rata2 pita bread with tom-yam ( a brilliat combo by mr yun). The tom-yam was excellent. The fish & chips too. It really tasted like Thailand fish.

Ard 8ish, we left for our el-cheapo inn. With the hasrat to continue shopping later in the night at the night market. Wat came next was juz as I expected and hoped for. Both the killer n sherpa changed, and plonked onto bed. I was awakeneded by the loud banging at the door. Was so freaking scared it might be a drunk nigger that'd be strong enough to smash the door and take us away. It was juz our tour guide, asking if we were ready. Me and my half-open eyes, hair standing up, she got the hint that we were prob tired and wouldnt be joining them on their nite rendezvous. The partner in crime was lying on the bed motionless, intoxicated by the tom-yam / pita combo. He only grunted sometin in thai when they asked if he wanted to go out. So i gave them the blessings to go ahead without us, and let us recuperate for our next round of major shopping at Chatuchak the next day. A cold shower (i tried Yun's suggestion of sitting down n bathing, brilliat idea) and back to sleep.

What's in store for the fab four next? Stay glued (not sniff glue) to ur screen to find out in the next edition of ...

My Romance With King Bhumibol and His Denizens... Part Telu



the writer with a seductive pose to make ur legs quiver. F-Nine Inn. Welcome to mediocre land. Notice our bangcock bible on the bottom of pic. And the langsir tak cukup kain. And juz 1 towel and blanket. 'Nuff said.



Public baths have never been this fun...