fashizzlemanizzle

And so i am back fellow comrades from my short trip (again) from the land of the smiles. No people, i wasnt there negotiating with Thaksin in regards to the unrest in Yala Yala, nor was i there persuading him to buy Liverpool, (probably the best club in the world). I was there for my highly-subsidised departmental trip. In any case, the department shall not be named in view of the Durai case. Seditious. Anyways I only paid $5 for it and the rest was subsidised. But, I have to admit, it really was a $5 trip. Here is why..... (watery watery effect as we go back in time)

One day, this story brings us back to last thurs, 15/12/2005. Meeting place was Terminal 1 gate wateva for Garuda airways at 0900hrs. As usual, i was kinda late so reached there at 0915. Thankfully the plane has not left yet. Fast forward, plane flew off at 11.30am. Gotta tell ya theyve got a kick-ass Macdonald inside the boarding area. Ekcellent view.

By golly, i was quite sure that Garuda wasnt a budget airline, but when i got on, it sure felt like one. The plane was the same size as the Airasia plane i took the last time round, only tat this has a business class on the first section. Diff between the classes, bizness has 2 seats on each column, while economy had 3. Oh well, $5 trip i told myself. Lucky for us, there was at least one cutie stewardess in the plane. The rest were like, maybe can rank them as nyai or ibu.

Touched down Cheng Kai Shek (sorry i dont know the Thai airport name) airport at 12.30pm local time (time will now be referred to as the Thai local time, o-k). The Thai immigration is kinda kick-ass coz they have this weird gizmo on their passport chopping area. U gotta look at it and not anywhere else and the people chopping ur passport will actually be monitoring u. Its actually a camera device, and they use it to match ur face wif tat on the passport. Coolness!

Took the haprak bus to our hotel, highly anticipating tat it'd be some kinda high-class hotel full of social escorts. I kinda forgot tis was my $5 trip. As it turns out, yea it was a $5 hotel. Crappy i tell u, craapppyyy. Its called Ratchada City Hotel. Pls dont go there. The location is freaking ulu. No view at all. Imagine having a hotel somewhere in, like Sungai Road, no major landmark nearby. Best part was the door's peep-hole, where u cant see thru it coz it's scratched. And i tink my house toilet's better. And the cupboard looked like there'd been a fight and a hole on it. They have a balcony but u cant get to it coz it's locked. (wat the hell?)

So yea u get my drift, it sucks. Check it's website. I couldnt even locate it on the bangcock map. http://www.ratchadacityhotel.com/ . It's in a developing area n is still developing.

Reached it like 4+ and the first thing on my mind was to get some sleep. Jet lag lah konnon nye. And best part was, they were showing the pool vs wateva match LIVe! So yea, good reason too stay in a while. Remember kids, it's a $5 trip. Nothing to lose.

Eventually went out at 7 as one of the guys knew some local dude who was gonna bring us ard. This guy that spoke in mixture of hokkien thai, n 2 overexcited aunties who seemed to speak to me in Thai as if i understood a single word she was saying. So the whole lot of us took up 2 cars n a cab, n first destination was to some seafood area, and i was hoping real hard no Golden Mile fried rice laden wif pork tis time round. It was a nice place. At the entrance only, saw like women (or was it men??) dancing in their undies on the seond level. Prob that was for 'business' class only. We were there juz for the food. Lucky for me, being the minority, my voice was heard. I requested for a seafood only cuisine and voila, evryone else ordered only seafood. The prawn fried rice was excellent! And so was the tom-yum-goong. The overall place was nice, had like a lake in the middle and some Thai gig goin on. The beer ladies were cute. And that overexcited auntie still continued talking to me excessivly as if i understood her whole philosophy. Like, wateva ladyyy. She seems to understand my hand gestures, tho i certainly felt ramming my fist up her throat. But she was nice lah. Wats tat chinese saying, chicken hand and leg move differently. Means we talk diff languages, but hand gestures suffice.

And so we were full, time was abt 9+ or 10, time to hit the sack i guess. But nooooo. Our host had other ideas. Wanted to bring us to some discoteque. I dont tink anybody would wanna do the macarena wif our stomachs full of fried lice and prawn. So they die die wanted to bring us to kalaoke. I suspected it'd be some hip place.... for our parents and grandparents, as old as them. And my worst fear came true. As if the ride wasnt far enuff, it sure was a hip place..... in pre-VietCong 1970s. 'twas a small pub. Very few people. Beer ladies were like old, cept for 1 saving grace. We were the biggest grp there. And so the togok session began. (At this point of time, pls note Im straight edge hardcore SxE so i dont drink). Only thang i got high on was Coke in glass bottles. It rocks! And dirty too! At first evryone shy shy. Eat eat, talk talk. Suddenly, one got high, and they brought the house down. N'mind there was no chick to dance with. The old aunties became their dance partners. The old beer lady was gyrating her hips, i swear i tink after downing a few bottles, to them she'd look like Shakira. Not wanting to be a spoilsport, urs truly was boogeying the nite away and showing them my specialty of my one-legged macarena dance routine. Old time favorites like Venga boys and Ricky Martin's 98 world cup song, we sang along with gusto. Oh how cheesy. But more cheese was abt to come. Being among the ORD personnels, we were invited to the singing podium to belt out a song or two. So obviusly we only chose one. And good lordie, the poison chosen, none other than Backstreet Boy's As Long As U love me. Yeayea. It was an emotional nite mah. Me gonna ORD soon. No more senior to take the fall or rap. Wahahahahah. Me and my heartlander partner, we sang it wif passion n only true lovers know (im not referring to him loving me), we were so good that a lady, who was a customer actually went up to the 'stage' and gave us each a flower. My oh my. My first time to a KTV bar and my performance actually warranted a flower. To bad some drunken monkey took it and like chew it or sumtin. I was so touched and inspired. So ladies n gents, look out for my upcoming gigs at substation or youth park k. I love you all...

The nite ended aptly wif 'I will survive' and soon, we were back to our hotels. Lucky for us, our host didnt join in the crazy BO-TAH-BO-LAMPAH! cheers and drinking matches, if not i tink i'd be the one behind the wheels. Hahaha. As for me, there i was, chilling wif my glass of coke, still replaying the scenes of my stage performance over n over again. You areee, my fireeee......