fashizzlemanizzle

Movie Fashizzlessss : Spiderman 3

The next anticipated movie of 2007 after 300, is the third installment of Spiderman. After the hype, the leaked out photos and cool trailer, and all those 4 star ratings in the papers, im sorry to say this movie proved to be a disappointment.

Overall, I tink it would have lived up to most people's expectations. But seriously, for you to introduce Venom, you really have a mammoth task of meeting expectations of Venom fans. Ok we know the storyline for this episode. Spidey gets a cult following, hero of NYC. Gets to his head. Wanna marry M.J (not Michael Jordan, nor Michael Jackson, nor Magic Johnson). As the tagline goes, 'The Greatest Battle lies within'. Im not too sure if you can draw comparison with Jim Carrey's character in Me, Myself and Irene. But he has to battle his own demons, and to make matters worse, the fame that comes with being a superhero, and the introduction of the black symbiote making him stronger, sure as hell makes it difficult not to make your head swell.

What happens when your head swells as such? You lose focus on your childhood dreamgirl, you go around kissing blondies and you kill your enemy, instead of just rendering them useless and throw them into Hotel California. So we see Parker take on all these trivial issues, that seems to dog this superhero with very non-superhero issues.

Here I list out the problems of this movie :

1) Too many baddies = too many characters = a messy messy facial affair.
Venom. Sandman. Green Goblin's son (who from now on will be referred to cheesily as THE New Goblin). And spidey himself becoming black. See when you have too many characters, their screen time gets shortened and lose focus. And as pointed out by M:dir, seems Parker and MJ gets too much screentime of their love-dovey fashiznits. We wana see Spidey kick some ass, and get his ass kicked.

2) All the villains become softies. Wat the? Sandman, for all his tough and beefy body, is so soft. Not sure if the motive of him turning to crime (due to his daughter's illness) would look well for someone who has so much potential to create more havoc. Brock, becomes all emo and shite after getting rejected of his job. New Goblin gets all mushy when he lies in hospital wif amnesia. Ewww. Where have all the badass villainssss goneee? Tooo du du. Too du du. Too du du.

3) New goblin's suit sucks. Looks more like a surfer dude. Or a lord of dogtown.

4) And numero quatro. Venom. What a letdown. And to let Topher Grace, he of the retro That 70s show as Brock? Just what was Sam thinking. Dont get me wrong, I love Eric Foreman in 70s show. But you see, as ive seen in the comics and cartoons, Brock was a, wat you'd call the school bully or the playground bully. Beef jerky kinda guy, filled wif frat boy jokes and definitely slightly towering over Peter. And Venom's mouth suppposed to open hugeee, like alligator like that, wif his spiked tongue running amok. Not squeezy small sharp teeth. Venom is supppoed to be beefy, not slim jim. Alas, it juz did not be. Altho the effects of venom were still overall very cool, it juz wasnt enough. Maybe the flint marko dude would have made a better Venom. Just so wrong lah to put Topher Grace. He brought along too much of Eric Foreman. His eye rolling. They way he fold his arms. The way he walks.

5) Yes, the scene of the emo badass Parker, was juz overly done Raimi. When he was dancing in the cafebar while wif Debbie does Dallas, I was half expecting Parker to put on the black venom mask and dance ala the Mask with everyone following behind. My name is Cuban Pete, im king of the samba beat and then I go chick chicka boom chick chicka boom chick chicka boom.

But yea, still watchable lah if you not fussy abt Venom as I was. I have to admit, I did not expect the twist at the final fight scene. Wanna know wat it is? Watch it then. I give you a clue. WWF. And not the animal kind. And Flint Marko, going the Kurt Cobain way, of it's better to burn out than to fade away in his final scene. I hope he'd be back. Sandman that is.

So this gets, hmmm, after all the bashing, still 4 / 5 charkueys lah k.

Next up....



Please dont disappoint me Michael Bay.

You've got the touch, you've got the power!